SEX: MALE OR FEMALE?
By: Ma. Flores G. Isler
When we are filling-up certain documents that
require the identification of our sex if either we are male or female, if we
are normally born male or female, it’s very easy for us to identify our
sex. But what if you don’t know what you
are because you are both? Confusion will
be certainly involved. Commonly third sex is recognized and accepted in most
liberated society nowadays. Third sex is comprised of different identities
under natural circumstances like transgender, transvestite, homosexual, transsexual,
eunuchs and intersex people. Although, we are more familiar with homosexuals (gays
and lesbians) since they can be seen around leading a normal life without
causing a fuss unlike ages ago, at least in modern countries because there are
still conservative countries which considered third sex a taboo. But being lesbian or gay is only like having identity
anarchy. A gay was born girl in a boy’s
body and lesbian a boy in a girl’s body.
Physically speaking they are normal, the abnormalities happen due to
their opposite tendencies toward their sex.
They have penis but possess woman characteristics, they have vagina but
they act and feel like a man. Hence, it’s
their feelings and thinking that has some conflicts so they cannot act or feel according
to the sex that they were born with.
But
what if you are both she and he? And we
are talking here physically, not only mentally and emotionally. This type of condition is called intersex,
a person born neither entirely male nor female or whose own sex when born was
ambiguous. It is shocking to know that
DSD (Disorders of Sexual Development) is common as twins, meaning, in every
fifty of us there is one person having a DSD.
If you are homosexual, the only thing that you will have a hard time in dealing
with is your mental and emotional condition, but physically you are fine,
unless you want to have a sex transplant but it’s a choice done where you’re
mature enough to decide and it’s a different story. If you have DSD, physically you are not
normal because you have the genital of a boy even if your natural tendencies
are of a girl and vice versa. Imagine a
girl being born having a testis and her clitoris has an abnormal enlargement
that it looks like a penis. Emotionally
and mentally she is a girl but her private part contradicted her natural
tendencies. A normal lesbian can still
get pregnant because her body was normally developed as a woman should be and a
gay can still get a woman pregnant under normal circumstances. But if you have DSD it’s contrary, you can
have the perfect body form, normal tendencies but the confusion ends in your
private part because your genital is not as it should be. And in case of a man, sometimes the penis is
too small that it will not be capable of penetrating a vagina, hence, he will
become bitter, aloof and suffer an impotent feeling because he cannot totally
function as a man. It will create a
tremendous frustration on him that will make him miserable for the rest of his
life. See the difference? Intersex individual is a very complicated
case of identifying yourself if you are asked about your sex. You will be confused what to put if either you
are male or female. The normal sex is
only male or female, even if you are gay or lesbian it is still very easy to
identity your sex because your private part tells the real you. Unlike on the case of the person with DSD
condition that you cannot be identified as easily. Although, upon your birth the doctors
consider your sex male if your chromosomes falls higher on the XY and female if
your chromosomes falls higher on XX even if genitally speaking it contradicted
the higher level of your chromosomes.
DSD condition is traumatic and crucial compared
to other kind of third sex. Why? For those children with DSD condition whose
parents can afford operation that can correct their genital abnormality can undergo
as much as twenty or more genital operations in their lives even after few
months that they were born and the operation will continue all along as they
grow to maturity. They will suffer the
pain and even trauma of being under a surgeon scalpel as their genitals were operated
to compliment the body form and chromosomes that they were born with. Human being has a lot of complex sides that
sometimes we are not even aware of, or even if we are aware we just simply take
for granted due to our lack of understanding about what really it is. DSD case is not something to be easily laid
out in the open. This is a more
sensitive condition that a person can ever possess because chances are they
will only be treated like a freak or laughing stock. Unlike if you are gay or lesbian that you
have the freedom nowadays
to express yourself within the society that accepts you for who you are. But if you have a DSD condition, exposing
yourself to the society will give you a risk of being ridiculed and mistreated. In all my life I never met a person who has
this kind of condition and now that I brought it to my own awareness, I like to
divulge further in order for me to know more and also to share to others what
I’ve known. In this way, we can be more
sensitive and understanding to those people who are suffering under this
condition.
I read stories that some of the children born
with DSD were even shunned by their own flesh and blood that their parents even
think of mercy killing the child for fear of letting her or him grow in an
abnormal kind of life since he or she cannot function totally as man or woman
when he or she grow up. But I was
touched because there are also parents who moved heaven and earth and were very
supportive with their child with this kind of condition. Although, it hurt and disappointed them
tremendously having a child with DSD condition but the love and support they
bestowed on their child were so massive that in the end the child learned to accept
his or her situation in total understanding as he or she gets older. I am in awe even only to imagine how the
person won over his or her personal struggle by having this kind of condition
but it is saddening too because some were not brave enough to accept being
intersex that it drive them even to commit suicide. They chose to end their lives than to suffer
the mockery and unjust treatment that they will receive if their condition will
be open to others. This is the
unfairness sometimes of the society that we live in, there are lots of
prejudices that we can never tackle if we ourselves were not born normal like
the rest. The complexity of human being
is sometimes hard to explain much less to understand but complexity is part of
life that happens without making it our choice.
It’s all law of nature and we are all part of this law. Each of our existence on earth is not
something we decided prior to our birth because if we were given a choice we
will all choose to be perfect and to be totally accepted within the society
that we will grow with. Third sex causes
debate even until today because some people simply cannot accept the abnormal
tendencies toward the inborn sex. It’s
even common occurrence that in some places gays and lesbians are treated
outcast from their own family and from the conservative community that they
live in. But how the normal society
reacts to a person with ambiguous sex?
How the normal people treat a person with DSD condition? What if you are born with this condition but
your parents cannot afford the expensive operation? I think for the rest of your life you have
this confusing sex identity that you yourself cannot even answer. And for the rest of your life you will always
hide from the crowd, afraid to fall in-love, afraid to trust and forever will
suffer from inferiority complex and bitterness.
If we consider the total population on earth and of every 50 there is
one person with DSD condition, I think it is safe to think that persons with
DSD condition can compose even a nation in population. And as they are this huge in number, did we
ever care to think or to understand about them? Did we pause for a moment to ponder on how
they lead their lives? Did we consider
becoming sensitive to their feelings or emotion?
I don’t personally
know anyone belonging to intersex but I have gay and lesbian friends. In a way, intersex being categorized also as
third sex is similar in situation to homosexuals on how society treated their
kinds. One day, I was stunned and
angered by a stupid question received by my gay friend from a person not even
known to him but she was so full of prejudices about homosexuals. She asked him insultingly why my friend was
gay when God only created man and woman, so why he became gay? It was the most dim-witted question I ever
heard in my entire life and how I wish my gay friend questioned her back why
God also created stupid persons? In not
so many words that person labeled my gay friend bad because he cannot totally
function as a man. Provided that God
created man and woman as Adam and Eve in the bible but who created gays and
lesbians? Did they pop out like magic?
Are they only like seeds that sprouted from the ground? Like a bamboo
split open and gays and lesbians just came out?
Who is to be blame why there are gays and lesbians? Should it be parents or environment? If God created man and woman, it is also
stated in the bible that everything here on earth occurred or happened according
to Gods’ will. It is also the same case
that war is bad but why there is war? A lot of innocent people were killed for
what reason? And the reason even is
beyond our understanding and control. We
are not in paradise yet, hence, this world will never be perfect. Life consists
of oddities for a purpose, it doesn’t happen only for nothing. Even bad exists so we could know what is
good, day was created so we can see light after dark. The air we breathe, the first cry of the new
born baby and our death were all Gods’ will because he created the whole
universe all according to his will.
Therefore, to ask why there is third sex is like asking why there is
human on earth? Who are we to question
God’s will? Who are we to ridicule the
law of nature? Who are we to be so self-righteous? We are all not perfect. Thus, the world that we live in is also not a
perfect world and never will be unless humankind turned all perfect.
I have a close friend who is gay. He is intelligent, fun to be with, we get
along well, we laughed a lot, we share the same interest in dancing and we can
talk about everything under the sun like he is also my lady friend. I learned from his unique ideas and I admire
his different kind of creativity. Basically
speaking, he is like me, a person whose sensitivity is very much attuned to
human nature. The only difference is
that, his heart falters a beat if he saw a handsome man. He turned blind eyes if he saw a sexy lady
but he feels like swooning if he saw a sexy man. Can I fault him with that kind of
feeling? It’s not his choice to feel
that way, he likes to be normal but it is the tendency that he was born with
that prevents him from acting normal.
And even if he wants to love a woman if his feelings will not allow him
that, then what can he do about it?
Maybe if he will have a total male brain and heart transplant then that
could be possible. Thus, this is
primarily my point, why should we blame a person for what she or he is when it
was never his or her choice in the first place?
I found it so ridiculous why some parents cannot even accept their child
who turned lesbian or gay that sometimes a father will beat up his child until
he turned blue in order for him to change his natural tendencies. It is simply illogical and inhuman
behavior. A gay or lesbian can only
change according to his or her decision because he or she knows more themselves
than anybody else. If there is chance
for them to change then it’s a matter of self-decision and right time for them
to do so, not only to be impose to them that it is the right thing to do. The only fault here is that, most of us are
just so self-righteous, especially if we were born normal and accepted by the
society that we live in so it’s very easy for us to judge others who are
not. But what if we put ourselves also
in their shoes, then how we will feel?
How we will react to the way a discriminating society treats us?
Third sex or whatever sex we have, we are all
human being inside and out. The most
important thing is for us to live in harmony with each other and we could do
this if we have the correct understanding.
Even if we are normal men and women if we do harm to others, if we only
destroy beautiful things on earth then what good will we offer to this
world? If you belong in third sex and
you can offer more to the world than the normal sexes then your existence is
more beneficial to humankind. The true
character of the person is more important than the sex he or she
possesses. It is the heart and attitude
that keep the world sane and creates world peace. It is love and understanding that keeps
relationship going. It is love and heart
that sees real beauty. It is attitude
and heart that makes a person compassionate, accept life realities and
understand whatever it is to understand.
Our gender is not of primary importance but it’s our attitude as an
individual that will give importance to our existence. Our body is only the physical manifestation
of our soul. Our physical body is only a
tool to serve our purpose on earth. We
are what we are now because of the law of nature. God has given us certain mission to do, a
purpose why we exist as we are now. It
is not only a matter of chances or human mistake. Therefore, it is unjustly to mistreat others
because he or she belongs to third sex. The
most important thing is the way how we deal with other people, how we strive
hard to do goodness to the world. The
world is not created just to cater to all our needs. It was also created to be a place for us to
contribute something beneficial to human kind so generation to generation will
continue to exist until the end of time…
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