Forgiveness is an act of forgetting and letting go of the pain caused by wrongdoing of others done to us in the past. It’s very hard to forgive if the pain is still there gnawing our hearts and guts out, but forgiveness is also one of the main ingredients in having a peaceful life. However, giving forgiveness is elusive to most of us, sometimes we need inspiration from others on how they conquered their anguish and learned to forgive in the end. Forgiveness I could say is a must in our lives because without a forgiving heart we could never lead a happy life. I’d like to share a story from my childhood that I could say one example of pure act of forgiving others even if the crime done was unforgiveable. This story happened when I was only ten years old and I became a hostage victim.
One peaceful night, our town turned into chaos when suddenly we heard gun fire around as if terrorists were attacking us. In a matter of blink of an eye, our place turned into a war zone. Everybody flee to save their lives, hiding where they could be safe and away from danger. I was not an exception, I searched also for my own hiding place at the back of our home where we had a small hut that serves as our cooking area. I was accompanied by three adults who worked for my parents small business, we were all shaking with fear. We hide there totally nervous and praying that the ordeal will soon be over. When we were going back to the main house as we thought that everything was back to normal again, my three companions were walking ahead of me and I was at the back following them when suddenly a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me backward as he put his other hand on my mouth to keep me from shouting for help. I don’t know how it happened, maybe due to too much tension and panic my three adult companions just thought that I was already in the house or maybe they thought that I preferred to remain in my hiding place, so no one notice right away that I was missing. The man who grabbed me happened to be the one who was firing his gun like he go berserk. He pulled me back in the dark hut and he warned me in his firm and full of tension voice “don’t run or shout for help, if you do that, you will die” He loaded his armalite from the bullets that adorned his chest and many still remain on his pockets. This man was an army, he was still wearing his army uniform and he looked like he was all set for a battle. I was very young then, I could just easily collapse due to fear or I could just shout out for all I care, but I thought to myself then, he was serious, I’d rather do what he told me if I still like to stay alive. So I just nod at him with terror in my heart and dreadfully watched him as he continued loading bullets to his long gun. After he was finished he grabbed me again by my arm and told me without too much ado that “you come with me.” I was just like a lamb being guided to a slaughter house as I go with the man, I was walking but I felt I was floating in the air as I sensed a great danger looming ahead of me that could cost me my life in just a matter of seconds or minutes. When we were in the main street, many people were there because they thought that everything was over but when they saw the army man with me in his grasp they stared at him in horror and to me a total helpless look because they couldn’t do anything to save me and they run off as the man started firing his gun again. In just a matter of minute the busiest street in our town become totally deserted. It was only me and the army man who remain in the street, a man with a gun and a child who was waiting for her soon-to-come death.
As I looked around me, I couldn’t see even a single person around, so I was so hopeless that I will be save, I just distracted myself then with questions, how will it be to die? Where will I go after I die? How does it feel to have a bullet passed through your body? These questions I just let it played again and again in my mind, as if to ward off the inevitable. The man keep on firing aimlessly, the sound of gun fire was so deafening that I tried to cover my ears and the smell of the gun powder was suffocating me. I even thought then that I could die from mere sound and smell alone. The man was holding me in front of him to cover himself from the enemy and as he turned this way and that caused my footwear to slipped from my feet so I turned barefooted on the rough street. I moved along his body, I was like a puppet being pulled by a puppet master in any directions he likes, like a rag doll being played by a cruel child. The man was shouting in the eerie silence around us about his grudge and resentment on the unfair system of the military that he was working that time. He wanted to put justice in his hands by involving innocent people and even a kid in order that the chip on his shoulder will be heard. He kept on firing his gun to no one in particular since we couldn’t see anybody around us maybe even if he heard only a whisper he will fire his gun because he was also under panic and trepidation. Little of us knew that many military men including policemen were scattered around us but only hiding just waiting for the right time to pull the trigger from their own guns when they were sure that I will be out of range. But the hostage taker kept on moving in different directions so my rescuer couldn’t pull off the trigger of their guns to shoot the man who hostage me, the order was shoot to kill, he was still alive because of me protecting his life. This horrible incident that was also both action and drama soon ended when the man run out of his bullets, he tried to escape pulling me beside him as he started to run for somewhere to hide. I run along with him because I was still so afraid of him but to both of our horror when we looked at our backs an armored car was after us. I was more afraid of the armored car than the hostsage taker so I run as fast as him too, we were like in the movie the two of us running in the middle of the street while an armored car was so near in our backs. In the end, the man throwed his gun beside the street as a sign of surrender and stopped running and put up his arms in total surrender. I stopped too beside him trying to catch my breath then the army men from the armored car get out and handcuffed him. That was the end, when the man was no longer a threat, a surge of people come now to my rescue and they were thankful that I was safe and was not hurt. When this hostage taking happened, my parents were not at home, my mother she was outside our home to buy food for our dinner and my father was on business trip so he was unaware also of what happened to me. When I came home that time my mother was under the care of our neighbors and relatives because she collapsed when she learned that I was the kid who was taken hostage, so she was crying with happiness and great relief when she saw me still alive. The following day we had a grand reunion when my father immediately goes home when he learned also that I had been hostage. I had an overnight fame in our place, our house had constant visitors of people who like to see the hostage victim and the military officials were also our frequent visitors at home because they were observing my situation if I’ve been traumatized from the experience, thankfully I was not.
The hostage taker was of course put into prison and after how many days everyone was waiting for the verdict of this man and they expected that he will serve how many years in jail to pay for what he did. But the decision to file a case against him depended on my father as his daughter was the hostage victim. And to the shocked of everyone my father didn’t file a case against him. Many were outrage calling my father lousy, weak and stupid because how could he let go of this man without severe punishment after what he did to his daughter, even the military officials were very much disappointed also with what my father finally decided. But my father was very adamant he just stick to his decision regardless of what others will say. From that moment on I was given an example that forgiveness can be done even if the mistake committed was massive. I was the victim yes but at my early age I was deeply touched when my father told everyone that he will not file a case against the man because I was not hurt, nobody was hurt, so he saw no reason why the man will suffer inside the jail for how many years and his life will be wasted for nothing when he can have the chance to change his life and move on with lessons learned from his mistake. The example that my father set for everybody to see, opened also my eyes in a new understanding that he was indeed right, so it helped me also to not hold a grudge against the man, I even felt sympathy for my hostage taker, I saw him in different light, not a monster but a human being like everybody else. When my family visited him where he was imprisoned, he literally cried and almost go down to his knees to my father and to me in his great thankfulness that he was forgiven and no criminal case was filed against him. That moment was still vivid in memory even until now how I had a very nice feeling when we forgave him and how his face brighten because our forgiveness eased away the burden of his guilt. The man was discharged from the army but he goes to another place to find a new job and new life for him. After more than a year, he sent us letter thanking us again for forgiving him and he told in his letter that he found a good job, he got married and soon-to-be father. It was very touching that my father gave this fate to this man despite of the crime he committed. He was given a chance to have a good life and start a family. What if my father filed a case against him? I think during that time that he wrote us that letter he will still be serving his sentence in jail.
I admired my father for what he did and later on the people who said bad to him why he didn’t file a case against my hostage taker, understood his reasoning. It was very clear then that our lives returned back to normal, so what’s the point of making another person suffer when he can still be given a chance to change his life? In our everyday lives nowadays, it is a common occurrence that even simple mistakes are very hard for us to forgive causing for it to grow bigger and bigger then creating a wide rip in any relationship. I think the secret in forgiving is to have a compassionate heart that still can understand the plight of the other person who did us wrong and still wish him or her the best of everything despite of what he or she did to us. I knew it is very hard, as I said we could not do it all alone, we need inspiration from others so it will compel and encourage us on how to follow. For me forgiveness is just a matter of forgetting and moving on with our lives again, like we are travelling and just had a stop in one point but after a while we continue our travel, we just didn’t remain confined on that stop we made because we knew that we still have a long journey ahead. I knew there are bad deeds that are very hard to forgive, I think it is normal to keep holding a grudge for a time but not sensible to hold it for a lifetime. Justice should be served of course to the crime committed or else all the criminals will have a merry party every night in the street because they were always forgiven whatever ghastly things they do to others. Sometimes there are other people who don’t deserve forgiveness because even if they are the one at fault, they don’t know how to acknowledge their mistakes and just keep blind eyes to it never asking forgiveness. However, for some faults that can be talked over and we could have a place in our heart to forgive sooner then why not we do it for the sake also of our own peace of mind. The only problem is, being a mere human like we are, we have our tendency that if someone do us wrong we always want to get even, to have our own revenge because we feel a sweet victory if the person who hurt us is suffering too. It’s only normal feeling that if you hurt me, I will hurt you too. We can never allow a person to hurt us and we will just stay in one corner and weep, of course we will have our sweet revenge. My only point is, there could always be good in any worst situation, it’s just up to us how we will turn the bad to be good. It’s all in the state of the mind, if we will think that he did us bad so we will also do him bad, of course our action will conform always to what we are thinking. Sometimes even the smallest mistake can have a gigantic effect to the extent that it can even cost you your life. I remember I read in the news somewhere that there was this guy singing in some bar but his voice was not pleasing to the ear so the other man on the other table got irritated listening and told him to stop singing but the singing man being drunk himself didn’t head his advice so the irritated man pulled out a knife and stabbed the man who was just innocently singing and enjoying himself. This lack of forgiveness of the man prompted him to do a crime out of a very inane reason, if he only switch his mind to positive thinking, instead of being irritated he just laugh to himself hearing such poor quality of voice then he will not commit an instant crime. Our thinking is the one prompting us to act, positive thinking produces positive outcome as negative thinking will produce negative outcome too but even if it is negative we have a choice to make it positive, the decision is all ours to make. One irony of life is that sometimes the simplest thing is the hardest thing to do, we just make complication out of the uncomplicated. Life is too short to just be confined in a negative state, who knows today or tomorrow we will leave this world without any baggage to bring other than the deeds we did while we were still alive. So if we will just hold on to our hatred and unforgiving heart how we could have a happy and peaceful life? The pure act of forgiving others is one secret tool to continue our life journey without hassle but we will just have a smooth and baggage-free travel until we reach our final destination…
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