If we are asked how we want to live our life of course our immediate answer will be we want to live happily, peacefully and with contentment. We can enumerate few more but the most basic desire of every human being is to have those three previously mentioned to be present in our lives. But as goes the saying that life is never perfect so we can never have everything we ever wanted. Well, it could be true but at least we could do something to make it near perfect if not totally perfect. The desire to live the life we wanted will always start from us not from others. But human being as we are, we have many turning points in our lives that deprived us this privileged to live the life we wanted. We undergo crucial trials, unbearable sufferings, unhappiness, loneliness, boredom, low self-esteem, etc… Some didn’t even recover from these emotional tornados that hit their lives so they draw verdict on their own fate that life is not worth living anymore, hence, they opted to simply vanish from face on earth in order to run away from all these anguish. Running away is never a solution but a cowardly and inanely thing to do. I understand that during these very down moment we consider ourselves nothing. We can even appreciate a trash if compared to us because we simply lose our worth as a person that literally we cringe from this unworthiness we feel. We don’t have a face to show to anyone so we look for some place to hide, if not physically hiding but emotionally too. Sometimes we became a recluse and we create our lonely world where it’s only us as the lousiest person on earth exists.
If ever you are in this state, wake up! It’s not the end of everything. You’re not a lousy person but just a lazy person. You are just lazy to change direction it’s like you are sailing and when you encountered the rough sea instead of changing course to avoid being thrown overboard you continued sailing mindlessly. Life’s oddities are like curse of nature, nobody can stop hurricane, storm, earthquake, etc… The same thing with our own troubles they were meant to happen or occur in our lives whether we like it or not. The only problem is we set a certain standard for ourselves that should be followed (but according to us only) we are this and that, so we don’t deserve this pain, we are good person we don’t deserve to be hurt, we are helping others so nobody has the right to deprived us of what we want. We are beautiful we don’t deserve to be criticized, we are intelligent how dare them correct us? The culprit of all our troubles is our ton of pride. We are simply too proud and too selfish that we want ourselves exempted from life’s imperfections. If someone bruised our feelings it’s our pride that received the hardest blow, our self-importance diminish so we want to get even, we want to have revenge. If revenge is beyond our range we will then start making an enemy of ourselves, we will self-criticize, under the mercy of self-pitying and the feeling of remorse will eat us alive.
The big trouble is we simply love our pride or self importance more than we love our true self. That’s our greatest fault , we pampered our pride like a fragile child but if we are confronted with it, we will deny it to death because we are blind to see this truth even if it’s slapped on our face. Pride woke up every morning before our true self wake up, pride nag us as we start our day and continue nagging the whole day. Pride sleep late, it waits for our true self to be soundly sleep before it closes its eyes but half-sleeping only. Pride is always on guard, it wants always to manipulate us, so its 24-hour watching the moves of our self like a jealous woman watching over the moves of her husband because she wants to keep the secure position in her husband life. The same with pride, it needs security in our life so it will do everything to set aside our true self so in the end until our very last breath we don’t even know who we are, what had been the true purpose of our existence and we will just die weeping deep inside that our life had only been wasted for nothing and a pity we cannot turn back the clock again to rectify the damages caused by our pride. And the irony of it, pride dies 24 hours after our body.
To live the life we wanted is basically simple, we just become more human not robot in human casing. We become more sensitive with others feeling and also we become sensitive and honest on how we truly feels. We should live the life we like to lead not because it’s expected from us by others, but according to our own will and to top it all we must always surrender to fate because we are not the fate designer/maker we are simply the player. If someone hurts us, we just consider it like we are learning a lesson for our personal growth because we can never learn without experiencing the pain. It’s like in school when a teacher has a stick in hand the student will pay more attention because they knew that they will get hurt if they didn’t learn the lesson being taught to them.
To be happy, we just keep our expectations in life moderate, we don’t expect high or too low we just keep a low key or profile because we had not been given any assurance of what will be the result on the future. Everything will just happen according to the dictate of fate. What is the relevance in expecting high in this life when everything has no guarranty? We should just simply relax and expect both better and worst. If we have this kind of disposition chances are we will not be easily hurt by others because we already conditioned ourselves that not everything will turn out the way we had expected. If we are in a relationship we just take it as it is, we don’t make plans and expect something to happen. We should not believe a promise because we know that sometimes it’s meant to be broken. We don’t give what we cannot take and we don’t expect high because things, events, emotions or situations can always happen contrary to our expectations. We should always consider that we are still human here on earth and not everything we desire even if it’s the most perfect plan of all times will materialize. What’s fueling our expectation to its high speed is only our pride. We want this plan to materialize because we created it. Sometimes we want to keep this person in our life not because we truly love her or him but simply because our pride will not allow that we will be left behind, it will shatter us into pieces. The shame feeling of being the looser after a broken love affair will start gnawing out guts and in the end nothing will be left on us, all will be eaten by this monster pride.
Losing someone we love by twist of fate our pride can even intervene. Pride will pressure us to grieve and engulf us in our sorrow. Pride will constantly whisper, "What now? You’re all alone, weak like crippled, no one can expect anything from you. Don’t continue working, what for? You lost the person you love, no reason earning a living. Don’t comb you hair and put in the garbage all your make-up, what for? The person you want to be beautiful with is gone. Just be comforted with your misery so others will pity you. Look like a bulldozer rolled over you, avoid water no taking a shower or even brushing your teeth, just drink liquor it will help uplift your mood and spirit. Make yourself a total mess so you can get sympathy from others, so they will just support you, assist you and comfort you. You deserve it you’re mourning you lost someone you love." And of course we will just follow what our pride dictates. See what this pride is doing to us? It’s depriving us the chance to be happy again and if we don’t do anything against it, it will continue manipulating our lives until it will totally destroy us.
To be happy we should also consider the fact that life is a journey not a destination, I read it somewhere and it’s very true. We have stop-over in certain point in our lives but we must not stay permanently on this stop-over we should continue our journey. Our destination is only until we have our last breath because from this moment on nothing and no one can hurt us anymore. So after a catastrophe in our life we just pick up the pieces of what had been left and move on. We don’t stay on that place and mourn over the wreckage, even if we shed all our tears what was lost will never come back again, so we should not only be mentally wise but emotionally wise as well. This is for our own good and also for the people around us since if we are happy a positive energy will radiant from us and will attract positive results also from others who are in contact with us.
Life adversities should not divest from us the right to be happy they were only meant to teach us lessons and to show us a different trail to follow. We can see good things even from the worst situation, the only requirements are humility and an open mind to accept changes in our lives. To be happy will not just be spoon feed to us we must work on it and instill it in awareness because it’s only by doing this that we can attain inner peace and if we have peace in our heart and mind we can achieve total contentment in life, and we can say now to ourselves that we are living the life we ever wanted...
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